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Saturday, 07 February 2009

  • Pain, that's all there is.

    I was in 9th grade and I was given this final art project. I could make whatever I want as long as I can explained how it's connected to the topic. We get to draw the topics from our teacher's hat. They were actually song titles, some of my friends got This Is Why I'm Hot - MIMS, Snow (Hey, Oh) - RHCP, and mine was Pain - Three Days Grace. To be honest, I've never even heard of that song before, and I wasn't any good at drawing either. In other words, I was pretty screwed. But on the other hand, I thought that I had a really good topic. Pain was something quite easy to explore, many in this world is connected to pain. So I spend the first week browsing ideas and hoping a sudden inspiration would come.
    A week had gone by, and still all I got is a blank canvas. I'm so confused and I've absolutely no clue of what I might actually put on my canvas. I'm even more frustrated when I realized it was a big one, 50 x 60 cm. Then it come to the day when I researched on performance art and this sudden brilliant idea strike me. Sure, I couldn't draw; but who said I couldn't write?
    So here's what I did. I took my canvas, and painted the whole thing black. Then, I wrote a poem on the whole page of it using glass paint, so you'd have to read it from a close distance. What I'm trying to say was that pain is the dark side of life. It's something that people doesn't want to have. It's not something fun and bright or something people are excited about. It's a side of life people wished they never had to know. And the truth is, you can't really see it unless you get close enough to that person. You can't never tell whether it's a fake smile or they've got red eyes from crying unless you're near enough to see the whole picture. That's why I used glass paint. Truth is, the painting didn't look "that" professional, but I got one of the highest grade in class because of my originality. As a matter of fact, the poem that I wrote on the canvas was actually one of the best poems I've ever written in my whole entire life.
    I entitled the poem: Pain. That's All There Is.

    Pain

    That’s all there is

    The poor and the saint,

    Have to loose their every wish.

    ‘Cause to love does hurt

    But to only beloved is cruel

    To hope in a piece of dirt

    Only brings laughter upon the fool

    To sacrifice is not cheap

    But got none, not even a piece of jewel

    To stand strong like the chief

    Is harder than telling all those bulls

    Everywhere I see,

    Everywhere I hear

    Expressions of groans,

    And sounds of moans

    Everyone’s living in despair

    Realizing that life’s always unfair

    Losing themselves by

    The torture of life’s own misery

    Holding on so tight

    To the closest people for company

    If life was easy, who do they kid?

    They expect royalty from the young majesty

    But in a blink of an eye,

    This would all disappear

    And you will soon discover,

    The whole world falling into tears

    The truth is there,

    It was there from the start.

    It’s written everywhere,

    How it begins and how it ends.

    Though the path seems to blur,

    You’ve got to understand,

    You’ve got to have faith

    Because. someway, somehow,

    These things are meant to be

    And it will bring you to destiny

    Pain

    That’s all there is

    The poor and the saint,

    Have to loose their every wish.

    ‘Cause to love does hurt

    But to never love is even crueler.

  • One chance, I blew it.

    I see you sitting there.

    All alone, seems unfair.

    I want to come over and say hi,

    But I feel so shy.

    So I sit back,

    And think of an act.

    Still, I want to come over and say hi,

    But I’m still too shy.

    Sat back again, and caught up thinking,

    While the clock keep on tickling.

    By the time I’ve got my bravery,

    You’re already gone like a lonesome fairy.

    So there I lost,

    One chance.

     

    I wish I could walk away,

    From the mistake that I’ve made yesterday.

    Now I see you there again,

    Sitting alone in pain.

    Maybe yes, maybe no.

    I’ll never know if I don’t go.

    I want to go there and say hi,

    But still I’m too shy!!

    Just like yesterday,

    I caught up thinking to find a way.

    By the time I’ve got my bravery,

    You’re already gone like a lonesome fairy,

    Again.

    So there I lost,

    One more chance.

     

    Months after yesterday,

    I’m thinking about how stupid I was.

    I can’t pretend anymore,

    You’re the one that I adore.

    All are falling into tears,

    Coz now you’re gone after all those years

    I wish I did say hi,

    Even though I was too shy.

    I wish I hadn’t caught up thinking,

    And keep trying to find a way.

    Now, I’ve got no more bravery,

    You’re already gone like a lonesome fairy,

    And that fairy will never come back.

    So there I lost,

    All of my chances.

  • Pieces of a remedy.

    I’m just thinking about

    How to erase these hundred doubts

    No it ain’t anyone’s fault

    I just need a little sugar and less salt

    My days seems cold and shattered

    All I see is broken smiles and no one seems flattered

    Is it this thing called loneliness

    That brought these million sorrows

    Do I yearn for this thing called forgiveness

    To fix the broken pieces in my tomorrows

    Guess everyone’s had their ups and downs

    They’ve cried to their sleep and

    Worn beautiful night gowns

    Maybe, I’m being a little over- act

    But what if some parts of mine are about to crack

    I wish, I could lay my head on something real

    So I won’t have to deal

    With every dramas and emotions

    Coz’ I can see me, longing for satisfaction

    But how could I ever rise

    If I receive no salvation

    This ain’t about Christianity

    Just stuck between fantasy and reality

    I’m not luckless, I’m just clueless

    I’m not loveless, I’m just filled with loneliness

    I’m not senseless, I’m just speechless

    I’m not reckless, I’m just mindless

    Is it life that’s priceless

    Or people are just being shameless

    Either or neither, both gives back one another

    Monday Wednesday Saturday Sunday

    It’s still gonna end up the same exact way

    Take me or leave me

    Don’t try to fix me

    I’m not broken and it’s for real

    My hopes may be shattered and

    My world may fall apart

    But it is tears and laughter

    That’ll bring back what was lost

    The end, full stop.
  • The Perfect Angle.

    It was a bright day, from what I could recall. I was out camping with my buddies from the entire student body organization. It was some kind of a leadership training. We spent one night and two days out in the woods. We had to cook by ourselves for ourselves, take showers in disgusting bathrooms (thank God we didn't have to do it in the river or lake or something) and sleep in small tents with the other 7 people on uncomfortable mattresses. Great. Really great.
    On the second day, we had an activity, some sort of a race, where we had to go from one post to another and complete tasks in order to get to the next one. It was exhausting because the distance between the posts were really far, and some paths we had to go through more than once. The sun was shining bright (which I'm not grateful for) and the heat was excruciating. I wanted to see how much longer do I have to keep with this, but I didn't have a watch or a phone or any device that could tell me exactly what time it is. I needed to breath and slow down for a bit. So, I told my teammates to walk ahead and let me keep track from behind.
    I placed my eyes to the ground, observing the shape of the pine cones scattered on the dirt. I'm starting to wonder, does this path look the same as the time I walked over it yesterday? No, of course it's not. It was at a different time, at a different temperature, under different shapes of clouds; it was different. It suddenly came to me, life is a one time chance. There are no such things as second chances, there can only be one chance.
    The way I see it, life's chances are based on time. Unfortunately, time itself doesn't run twice.

    (to be continued.)

Friday, 06 February 2009

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msvinntage

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  • i love joking around, having fun and just laughing all day with my friends. i love listening to my ipod untill i fell asleep. i love screaming my heart out when i play basketball. i love my crazy tragic sometimes magic almost awful beautiful life.

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